Love and Circumstances. The erasure of LOVE and the collapse of the mariage institution. Everyone of us have contributed to the collapse of many homes because TRUE LOVE has evaded our homes. As a result children who are mummies and daddies today are raised without love. This have been recycled in recent times and the last recepient is the society we live particularly our country Nigeria; let me share a story with you so that you can absorb the message i am trying to pass accross: I attended a wedding recently in Ibadan, Oyo State, Nigeria. Throughout the programme i noticed that the groom was covered with joy and he flouted it. He danced like it is d last thing he would do. Conversely, d bride had a dry smile and danced lightly depicting someone forced into the union. I was curious, was she forced to get married? Luckily, towards the end of the program, the media crew that covered the program went interviewing the couple. The groom had fabulous things to say about his bride and his wedding day. When the bride was asked about how she felt, she wryly said; "i am ok with my husband and the wedding and quickly she left the scene of the interview. As a graduate of Guidance & Counselling, i became more curious. I waited until the end of the program in the evening and sought audience with Dupe (not real name). What she told me brought tear to my face because as a father i am guilty of same. I remember my four kids (2 boys & 2 girl) what their thought to life will be. I remember my beautiful wife who showered me with love and affection but i was too busy to reciprocate but shower her with money instead. Dupe told me; though i like my husband very well but i couldt understand what love is because all my life with my parent i never see one. My parent life is full of boredom unlike what i read in books. The life of my parent is steretyped. How did she know? When i was younger, my dad will insist i or my younger brother sleep with them, particularly when my mum become pregnant. Since my sibling & i grew up, my parent have separated rooms. My dad wake up, pray and call my mum to serve his food, no good morning darling, no hug, no kiss nothing! They are just dry. Mummy will hurry like a maid and bring the food & sit in the parlour glued to nothing until he finished eating. She will call someone to pack up. My dad will get up and live for office with word " i am off to the office. He comes back around 6pm, eat, lie in his bed for some hours. He then shower, dress and goes out. He comes home around 10pm. He ask for tea and off to bed and my mum also go to her room. That has been my parent life everyday. She then looked straight into my eyes and asked; uncle is that not a boring life, if marriage is like that why will i marry? I am 32 now and it took great counselling for me to agree to get married. But i dont know who will convince my younger sibling because their perception about marriage and love is worse. I believe marriage is only about given birth and making money. It is not interesting at all. My dad will always say to my mum; dont disturb me, i have worked hard since morning, i am tired. Even weekend. This is Dupe's story! How many of us are less guilty of this? Study have shown that Nigeria men including myself are the most uncaring, unaffectionationate and unromantic men in the world. This did not exclude some carreer women - Profs, Drs, Lawyers, Engnrs who have sent their husbands to the waiting hands of other women. A lot of men are nursing bastards thinking the children are theirs. A lot of men have turned their wives to masturbation to satisfy their sexual urge. Some men have not satisfied wives but have chains of concubines. Women and children are suffering in silence in marriages. Our youth are looking for money at all cost. They dont care how they get it, even if takes killing. They are hard hearted because they are not brought up with love. Any man that shows Affection to his wife is called a weakling. The wife have charm him. This is absurd! Men blame lack of romance on economy. We have to work, we have to make money hence neglecting the home front. Some men believe you can make money or get influence when go to clubs or mix with friend EVERY NIGHT! This is not true. I once gave a lecture & told my audience that the best type of money ritual is by showing love and affection to your wife. It is not only given her money. Women love to be pampered once in a while. It is not only about sexual intercourse. Sex is good, infact the sweetest when you have it with your spouse. But not everyday. Any man who did not have sex with his wife at least thrice a month is not complete. It is infact unhealthy. Times you are not having sex, you can play with each other particularly on weekends. What work will a man do for seven days without enjoying himself. A lot of us men have turned themselves to semi impotent. How can a married man stay without sex for months. If you can, what of your partner. Younger boys have turned to sex tools for older women neglected by their hardened husband. In those days, our illeterate fathers will sit indoors with our mothers head on thier laps while running their fingers through the line of their well plaited hair. Some other times the husband head will on the wife lap while she fiddle with his hair. When any visitor comes around, they tell their children to tell him he is busy. Those are the days when pure love radiate our society. We are each other brother' s keeper. The love from the homes bring forth loving children and it transcend to the society. There are crime but minimal. No much money but we are ready to share the little we have with our neighbours. Community trust one another. Husbands rush home to meet their lovely wives. Wives are eagerly waiting for their husbands to return home. Couple eat from the same plate looking at eachother's eyes filled with love and the children feel the impact of that love. In the evening they sit together and gisted themselves on the happenings during the day. They fell asleep in each others arms. What better life can one wish for. But today, men look for money more than their lives forgeting that it is not by might or power. Some father cannot afford to pay even money for public school. Didnt they work hard. We no longer trust in God. Do your best and live the rest to God. Couple share different rooms. Those that sleep in the same room share different beds. Those that sleep on the same bed gives gap that can flll two or three children. When God has said that he created us in love and we must live in love. When gaps are created between couple who sleep on same bed, shaytan will filled the gap and he take love and trust away from the homes. Let all of us reflect, this piece is like a dirty water whoever it splashes on let him/her redress. A home filled with love and laughter invite progress and God's blessing. You will do little but God will crown you effort with success. A yoruba adage say; ise kolowo, alubarika loju ( hardwork does not translate to money but God blessing is the key.